So the saga of the push button start on the Kuga continues. Go back to our story from a few days ago when I was stranded at Tesco’s causing the mother of all jams.

On Sat I took the motor to the “helpful Ford dealer” (in quotes to indicate NOT), ah sir we might not be able to look straight away because you ain’t booked it in, well that’s because I wasn’t planning to break down was I. I left the motor for 4 hours and walked, and walked and walked. Back at Helpful Ford, oh we haven’t been able to plug a box in and analyse the fault and we can’t book it in next week either. Ok so do I need to plan to break down near the area (sarcasm wasted on customer services). Well I had to take the day off today to book it in. The previous conversation with Mr Helpful finished off with, what time does your service close on a Tuesday, 5pm sir, well can I book it in for 4.30pm, no sir the engineers go at 4.30pm (dumbfounded I pressed on), so can I book it in at 4pm, no sir they may not have enough time to look at I before they leave, ok how about 3.30pm, no sir you might need longer, WELL HOW ABOUT YOU GIVE ME A TIME SO I DONT HAVE TO KEEP GUESSING!!! Ah 3pm it is.

Car duly dropped at 2.30pm, and only after chasing 2 times did they look at it around 3.45pm to plug their box in and 10 minutes later tell me there was no fault registered. Can I suggest you bring it to us or get it towed here as soon as it happens next time. OH REALLY, like I did on Saturday!!!!

The real kick in the ass, a bloody second hand muppet car salesman showed us a secret compartment that you can place the magic key that will allow you to start the car if the key fob malfunctions. So I would like to say a big thanks to the AA for not knowing about this magic, the unhelpful Stoneacre Ford Service for wasting my Saturday and again today and lastly to the smug salesman who pointed out this gem.

I now got a KEY and I now know the SECRET!

Well we went to them there flicks today, the first time since January and given the cost we won’t be going for another 6 months.

Two people, one film, one coffee, one tea, two bags of maltesers, £30 what a con and to top it all, in an empty cinema you have assigned seating that they keep coming in to check that you haven’t moved. What a super experience, one to be repeated, not!! at least Dick Turpin wore a mask.

The film however, brilliant, Cowboys & Aliens with Daniel Craig.

So when we win the lottery we are off to the pictures again.

Ah lovely, so not only did I have no bed due to monster paws and the missus, I get to enjoy another day of Stockton, which is quite frankly unattractive at best. Another early start (roll on the bank holiday rest).

If you have never been to this place, you are missing nothing, if you blink you miss it (well that’s the general idea anyway). For yuse guys in the south, picture Bennys End shops on a rainy day and that is the centre of Stockton.

The only saving grace is the funky bridge behind my office on the tees. if you look up the Tees Barrage that lovely industrial wasteland is where I spend my days.

Enjoy the rounders, will hopefully get down soon.

Ah yes the joy that life brings, the dawn chorus (noisy buggers), people rushing to a job to make some bits of paper to give to someone else in exchange for essential goods we need and ones we don’t. Over simplifying things somewhat I know.

Am I good at what I do for a job, sometimes yes, sometimes no, but I do appear to be successful or very lucky so far. Do I enjoy what I do, does anyone. I used to be idealistic and wanted to change the world, but then realised to change something, it has to want to change initially. What is Project Management, well
pretending to know what you are doing, shouting at, coercing and bullying people to deliver something that will make someone money and is bound to fail without my intervention. As a colleague once said I am just the glue that holds it all together.

What else would I do if not this (well considering I have been a salesman, purchaser, engineer, R&D Engineer, developer, service desk operative and farmer), Here are my top 10s:

– A child because I don’t remember being one (although some one say I am one)
– A red cross worker because I wanted to do VSO when I was younger
– A pilot in the RAF because it’s the only thing I have failed with colour blindness
– Gynaecologist, say no more
– Deep sea diver
– Entertainer
– Psychologist
– Mountain Climber
– Mechanic, since I know naff all about engines
– Cameraman

No spaceman or bus driver for me, simple pleasures, but ultimately something is missing and I’m looking to find that piece.