So the saga of the push button start on the Kuga continues. Go back to our story from a few days ago when I was stranded at Tesco’s causing the mother of all jams.

On Sat I took the motor to the “helpful Ford dealer” (in quotes to indicate NOT), ah sir we might not be able to look straight away because you ain’t booked it in, well that’s because I wasn’t planning to break down was I. I left the motor for 4 hours and walked, and walked and walked. Back at Helpful Ford, oh we haven’t been able to plug a box in and analyse the fault and we can’t book it in next week either. Ok so do I need to plan to break down near the area (sarcasm wasted on customer services). Well I had to take the day off today to book it in. The previous conversation with Mr Helpful finished off with, what time does your service close on a Tuesday, 5pm sir, well can I book it in for 4.30pm, no sir the engineers go at 4.30pm (dumbfounded I pressed on), so can I book it in at 4pm, no sir they may not have enough time to look at I before they leave, ok how about 3.30pm, no sir you might need longer, WELL HOW ABOUT YOU GIVE ME A TIME SO I DONT HAVE TO KEEP GUESSING!!! Ah 3pm it is.

Car duly dropped at 2.30pm, and only after chasing 2 times did they look at it around 3.45pm to plug their box in and 10 minutes later tell me there was no fault registered. Can I suggest you bring it to us or get it towed here as soon as it happens next time. OH REALLY, like I did on Saturday!!!!

The real kick in the ass, a bloody second hand muppet car salesman showed us a secret compartment that you can place the magic key that will allow you to start the car if the key fob malfunctions. So I would like to say a big thanks to the AA for not knowing about this magic, the unhelpful Stoneacre Ford Service for wasting my Saturday and again today and lastly to the smug salesman who pointed out this gem.

I now got a KEY and I now know the SECRET!