Greetings from Kolkata. I arrived this morning at 7.30 to the grubbiest airport I have ever seen. Arriving was a simple affair and my colleague
and I located the single baggage carousel to await my luggage.

How many people can you get around a luggage carousel is not a question I have ever considered, and yet I can now confirm that it takes all the passengers from an A380 plus about 100 other bodies – oh and it makes perfect sense to ALL stand in one spot so that when you want your luggage you need to physically climb to the belt to get it. Wow do Indians stand close to each other. Lucky my chivalrous Mr Italy colleague offered to do the luggage krypton factor so he got to enjoy all those sweaty bodies up close and personal while I supervised from afar. He tells me that the mix of curry and sweat is a particular delicacy which appears a common fragrance.

We were met at the arrivals area ( see pic, yes this the front of the arrivals shed) by a chauffeur from the hotel and walked to a “waiting area”- roughly translated as large Tarmac area with a million taxis, bikes, porters and stray dogs while he got the car. At 7.30 the temp was already 27 degrees and climbing. In a short 5 min wait I have learnt that cows roam the city freely, use of the horn when driving is not just common it is obligatory and it is important to shout at each other even if you are stood on top of the other person.

An interesting first introduction to India. It meets all initial expectations so far.

Having spent the best part of the night standing on us, pawing us and generally being a right royal pain, it would appear that Mr Spike is now tired and making most of the sunshine streaming in.

Shades on, suncream rubbed in and nothing to do but chillax, welcome to Garfields world of excitement.

So while Mrs Fogg is glued to a toilet with a touch of Bengal Belly or Ghandi’s revenge, we’ll be thinking of her.

Ah back to London with a bump, after a 1 hour delay setting off from Changi (waiting for passengers and luggage from another flight), which is pristinely clean, no dirt, perfect airport.

The flight was uneventful apart from the unhappiest air hostess who really didn’t want to be there, slung your food trays down, refused to offer alcohol and gave you the fruit juice that she believed you wanted. But at least we slept.

Home then to the dump that is Heathrow, dirty, smelly, masking tape holding things together and just plain awful. The express from T3 to T4 in chaos since the woman on the tannoy couldn’t tell you which part of platform two was platform two and not platform one. The Yotel ah sir your booking was from 7am it’s now 7.30, so you have lost half an hour or can pay for the extra time, why because my flight is delayed when we normally just shift the timing, welcome back home!!

So now to the hotel to pick up the car and start the slog back up-t north.

Righty ho then, all packed and ready to checkout. It has been a fantastic time this last week in Singapore. You can sit and people watch for hours, when it rains it truly does rain, but you don’t really care.

In traditional style here’s the role call:

– 1 Zip Wire
– 1 Luge
– 2 Cable Cars
– Daily MRT rides
– About 40 miles of walking (ouch)
– 2 Singapore Flyers (the big wheel)
– 2 Suits
– 5 Singapore Slings
– The Raffles Long Bar
– 1 Harley Davidson Shop
– 1 Chinese Banquet
– 1 Japanese Banquet
– 3 bottles of champoo
– 27 hours in planes
– 1 fantastic week

Singapore is a fantastic place to visit for a few days, very hot, very humid and some wonderful sites. This is very much a shoppers paradise, however looking in some of the shops you need to be seriously minted to afford some of the items.

A wonderful city break, now home to the cold.

Well it’s not Friday it’s been Saturday for at least 10 minutes now and they haven’t changed the carpet, what are tourists supposed to do now? How will they know the day has changed?

Have no fear SuperDrunk is here to help, when people are in trouble and need somewhere to turn there is Superman, when there is naff all wrong and no bugger wants him SuperDrunk arrives. Superman can leap tall buildings, SuperDrunk is lucky if he can even walk straight, you get the picture, however they do both wear their grundies over their trousers, only SuperDrunk’s actually smell of wee.

Well anyhoo SuperDrunk has helped out the Shangri-La by putting A4 notes on all the lifts informing them that the man who normally changes the carpet is late with his duty (and will be sacked) and today actually is Saturday, so don’t panic.