Oh my god, I’m F F F F Freezing, I’m turning blue with the cold mummy, why do the Emirates airline keeps sending me to places like this, I was given to this rather nice UPS delivery man who was going to try and get me to you, but couldn’t find Bali and instead brought me to Alaska!!

I wouldn’t mind but I have a big label attached to me with my owners name and address on it. I haven’t heard from my brother case, so no idea where he is.

The Emirates people put a sticker on me saying “Not Lost, Just in Transit”, don’t know what that means.

At this rate I will have to pull out some clothes to warm up. Hee hee if I put a pair of panties on, would that make me a briefcase (sorry luggage humour).

I somehow fear if my mummy and daddy try suing the airline over losing me and my brother that it will be thrown out, why? Because the judge will rule they have no case, sorry!

When I was sat with all the other cases in Dubai, I got chatting to a case belonging to a German man, apparently he always packs sausages to take with him on holiday. I did ask whether these explode inside due to pressure, but he did say this was only in a “wurst case scenario”