Motorway Matrix signs, generally useless information displayed on these massive screens “don’t drive with your eyes closed”, “you are currently sat in a queue”. I have always wanted to remote control these bad boys to put banal messages up to make people smile on their dull journeys “Hug Me” (from LA Story if you’ve ever seen it). But today on the road to The place frequented by Dr Foster, I saw a sign and just wanted to amend it for the sheer fun. The sign read “London Olympics 2012 prepare your journey in advance” what it should have read was “London Olympics, your tax pounds down the drain, but if you want to go then prepare to start queuing NoW!”

Personally I shall not be watching the Olympics (not even the ladies gymnastics) since the billions it has cost could have been put to better use.