Just like Dante my journey started and I entered the gate of hell and did not like it, to explain…..

I have to spend some time in a little place near an even smaller place near Gloucester for the company I happen to be spending some time with (illusive enough for you) and I stop at the same hotel, wier, water wheel, ducks, yada yada, in the same room (the bridal suite, not sure about that one) and eat in the same empty restaurant, apart from this week. If the horned one had sprogs they would not have been called Damien, but Otto and Milo with Ya Ya Mummy. Ya Ya Mummy brought said seed of the Fireman for a family meal (Uncle Fester, Mortitia, Gomez, Wednesday and Pugsley), but could not be Arr Sed looking after the Demon brats who persisted in playing Hide and Scream ever so bloody loudly miles from the Family de Scum. Tis not enough that you have had a long tiring day and the restaurant can only cope with 3 people at a time, to add these horrible little ankle biters into the mix. Now I ain’t a lover of kids (not only did I miss that boat, but I dont think I was even interested where the dock was) and yes I used to be one, but I was never sent to play in the other side of the restaurant so that I didn’t annoy my family. The restaurant dare not ask Ya Ya Mummy to control their kids for fear of upsetting them, so I did the only thing a responsible adult could do (yeh I know, too big words and one sentence), I stuck my foot out so that Otto ate laminate, that stopped the screaming, but did start the bawling, doh!

Skanky granny came a wobbling through to see what had happened to poor lil Otto and proceeded to pull his pants down in full view of all the other people trying to eat to check his knees, even though the demon child was holding his head (alternate medicine methods back in granny’s day). Still she eventually saw sense, or me snarling at her like a rabid dog and dragged Otto off for a nice bit of a chocolate sugar rush.

Gate passed, onto the first circle!