So there I am, off to Dublin for the day to attend a business meeting, flight booked out of Leeds Bradford at 10.50am, returning at 9.10pm (what a waste of a day that would be). Checked in online with the cheap and crappy Ryanair “bring your own life vest” Airline. If you speak to the Ryanair reps behind the check-in counter they charge you for the privellage.

Got parked eventually about 4 miles from the terminal in the long stay car park (oooo yes, £29 for the pleasure). Went to security, “ah you are pre-checked, a priority boarder, go down the fas-pass line”, fantastic some bonuses to cheapy airlines then, get to walk past the masses who are queueing at the strip and go security gate. Get to the security check through and the old dragon was having none of the fast pass malarky, forcing me to wait until everyone of the Ibiza “I’m getting slaughtered at 9am” peeps got through.

So I then have to remove my Suit jacket, wallet, keys, mobile phone, belt, laptop and all equipment and shoes, each of these placed in separate containers and going through on their own, with no-one to collect them at the other side as I wait for the monkey to wave me through the metal defector! So who is responsible if someone steals your items at the other end, cos I am certain that the airports would wave their ” we accept no liability” form in your face.

Eventually through and time to kill watching the Ibiza peeps get slaughtered on falling down juice. My flight due to board at 10.20am, suddenly shows that it will not arrive until 11am, then 11.30am. So now the initial arrive in dublin with 1 hour to spare before the meeting, turns to 1 minute to spare. Then all of a sudden the announcement goes out that the flight will not be delayed until 12.15pm, meaining I would not make the appointment at all. I duly called the company i was off to see and they advised that we reschedule to a later date. So at 11.45 I advise the check-in desk I no longer wish to fly and wish to change my flight due to the delay and the fact that I will not arrive in time. So this is where the fun commences.

The Check-in staff will not let me leave without and escort, so I have to wait until everyone is boarded first of all and the Ryanair check-in desk is not manned at present. At 12.10pm I eventually get allowed out of the airport, to go back to the check-in desk, only to be told that Ryanair have no staff there (we are only Servisair who collect tickets) and I need to call a 10p per minute un-helpful line. So I do

First Response – You need to modify your flight online

Second Response – You cant modify your booking since it is less than 4 hours before you are due to fly

Third Response – The plane took off ontime according to our system so you must have missed  it

Fourth Response – There needs to be a 3 hour delay before you can move your flight

Fifth Response – There needs to be a 1 hour delay before we can move your flight and our system is only showing 55 minutes

Sixth Response – You need to call back sometime tomorrow and we will make you start the whole thing over again

So, here I am, 24 hours later and still none the wiser, I even tried to change my return flight from Dublin (which obviously I couldn’t make, since I’M NOT THERE) but they are oblivious. “All we can do is send an email to head office to see if the plance was delayed and advise from there”, but hang on a second the flight was due to depart at 10.50am, yet Leeds Bradford show it departing at 1.18pm (yes that is almost 2.5 hours late) and Dublin show it arriving at 2pm.

Can I send an email to the head office, “no” is the answer, can I call the head office “no” again is the answer. So how do I contact the head office “send a fax”, I’m sorry in this day and age of technology we are reliant on a fax machine.

The moral of the story here is you get what you pay for, buy a seat on a cheapo nasty airline and chances are you may not fly on time, and you can guarantee that you won’t get a refund.

The Ryanair system is setup to prevent customers from getting any form of custom, bogged down by call centres and engaged tones until you give up in defeat.

The reality avoind Ryanair like the plague, it it not worth the money or the hassle!!!