All set for Halloween? I am, hair brushed, tooth cleaned, knife bloody and Tshirt filthy. Oh and severed head ready to scare the bejeezers out of the scroates.
All ready for a scare fest, see how many nightmares I can cause.
Halloween Prep
October We Salute You
No we are not dreaming. This is October, it is 29 degrees and we are barbecuing! How cool is that? anyone would think we were abroad.
Ole Mr Spike is confused, no warm radiators but a rather splendid wooden sun terrace in the garden to lay on all day cooking.
Mrs Fogg has finally emerged from the computer screen having spent pretty much all day New Zealand booking- and what does she have to show for this effort? Hmm, three hotels booked, one island ferry, UK flights, UK hotel and confirmation that there are absolutely NO hotel rooms left in Wellington on the 4th Feb. Nice to know.
Back to the BBQ (after shiftin 1 tonne of logs for the fire and a trip out on the baby Hogg), it’s a trial run of posh venison burgers for me, but plain old beef for Mrs Fogg (plus a cooked spider that had setup home in the BBQ and ended up part of her burger, shhh I won’t tell if you don’t).
Time to sample…….
Movie Time
Gotta love the pure escapism of the movies, for 2 bum numbing hours you can forget everything and immerse yourself in a ripping yarn (unless it’s My Own Private Idaho, We Love Huckerbees or about Schmidt, which all sucked so bad we left the films early, ah tell a lie I slept through About Schmidt).
In years gone by I used to queue at my local Odeon in Hemel (which doubled as a Bingo Hall 4 nights a week), to see the latest blockbuster. The most memorable being Aliens and The Fly on midnight showings. Mrs Fogg and I used to frequent local cinemas every week, but now only once or twice a year (this year was Tron Legacy which was pants, nice catsuit tho, and Cowboys & Aliens only so that Mrs Fogg could ogle Daniel Craig).
Time has moved on and once I had 600 video tapes, then to LaserDisc, then DVD and BluRay, but now it’s all downloads, which means we can watch a movie in the comfort of our house without listening to a mobile phone call discussion or having to pay just shy of £30 to see a film.
This weeks latest have been Limitless (cool movie), Faster (hoo rah), Sucker Punch (banging soundtrack and totty in school outfits, worrying, but hot all at the same time, excellent movie by the way) and most notably Attack the Block a low budget C4 made for TV movie, but so well done. Attack the Block has you hating then cheering for the hapless yoots who appear to have trouble with the English language (I axe ya, Trus, Spec being the most notable “WTF are you onabouts”). Amazingly this rare gem succeeds where so many big budget Hollywood films fail (remake of the Day the Earth Stood Still anyone).
A blinder of a film, well worth a watch, with some nice shockers in it, one definitely worth a view with all the lights turned off.
The M&S Q Busta
Ah another day, another Q. M&S introduce a new feature when trying clothes on, you queue, they take your clothes from you and hang them on a rail while you wait for a cubicle, but then cant remember what is yours, what is to return or who is next. Meanwhile one of the women just keeps bashing a bell for more assistants to join the Malay.
In The Spirit of Mastermind
I’ve started so I’ll finish
A very nice weekend spent in the Lea Marston hotel, where all the staff actually speak English (gotta be a rarity). The food is fantastic, the service second to none and very nicely priced too.
A chance for Mrs Fogg to see the rellies and do some catching up.
For me, being obsessed with Mr Crappers invention (we have visited some rare gems around the world thanks to Mrs Caddies “Loos of The World” book), the one here should be on the list as the “Mastermind Chair”. This loo for some reason is bathed with an eerie glow and that’s before I spend a penny. You feel like a contestant in the spot light with 2 minutes left, all I can say is that I have started, so I’ll finish.
Some deep thinking from here.How to Look Tall
How to be fair to the munchkins in the family, put them all in a line and tilt the camera sideways, that way the hobbit folk look tall, shame about the hairy feets.
Brum Brum
They talk real funny down here. We have come relly visiting to the black country (a little racist isn’t it). We should have left around 4pm yesterday, but as usual that work thing got in the way, so the eventual arrival time was gone 9pm, after some top tunage in Mrs Fogg’s banging motor (the dirty one cos she don’t clean it). This weekend sees us in quite a nice hotel (4 star, so it’s got an ensuite and loo rolls).
Decent meal in the restaurant (scallops with belly pork cooked to perfection and a lovely 10oz T-bone). It’s one o the few places I have been where your waiter wears gloves to bring your food (bit posh for this area init).
Next stop, the outlaws for the day, breakfast has been consumed so we is set for a couple of hours.
My Precious
Mr Fogg before the makeup is applied
Woo after weeks of toying over the best way to get there (most economical and comfortable), we now have our flights booked for the land of Hobbits.
London Heathrow to Auckland, a month of driving to Christchurch and then flying back Auckland and eventually to Heathrow.
My Tour Geek (Mrs Fogg) is in full planning mode with assistance from Frogman Caddie (after their whirl wind tour).
We are gonna try and get on as extras in the Hobbit as well, well Mrs Foggy does have hairy feet!!!
One place we will be visiting and publishing the picture from is the worlds longest place name:
TaumatawhakatangihangakoauauoÂtamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu trying saying that bad boy after Mrs Finks falling down water.
I Found the Key, I found the Secret
So the saga of the push button start on the Kuga continues. Go back to our story from a few days ago when I was stranded at Tesco’s causing the mother of all jams.
On Sat I took the motor to the “helpful Ford dealer” (in quotes to indicate NOT), ah sir we might not be able to look straight away because you ain’t booked it in, well that’s because I wasn’t planning to break down was I. I left the motor for 4 hours and walked, and walked and walked. Back at Helpful Ford, oh we haven’t been able to plug a box in and analyse the fault and we can’t book it in next week either. Ok so do I need to plan to break down near the area (sarcasm wasted on customer services). Well I had to take the day off today to book it in. The previous conversation with Mr Helpful finished off with, what time does your service close on a Tuesday, 5pm sir, well can I book it in for 4.30pm, no sir the engineers go at 4.30pm (dumbfounded I pressed on), so can I book it in at 4pm, no sir they may not have enough time to look at I before they leave, ok how about 3.30pm, no sir you might need longer, WELL HOW ABOUT YOU GIVE ME A TIME SO I DONT HAVE TO KEEP GUESSING!!! Ah 3pm it is.
Car duly dropped at 2.30pm, and only after chasing 2 times did they look at it around 3.45pm to plug their box in and 10 minutes later tell me there was no fault registered. Can I suggest you bring it to us or get it towed here as soon as it happens next time. OH REALLY, like I did on Saturday!!!!
The real kick in the ass, a bloody second hand muppet car salesman showed us a secret compartment that you can place the magic key that will allow you to start the car if the key fob malfunctions. So I would like to say a big thanks to the AA for not knowing about this magic, the unhelpful Stoneacre Ford Service for wasting my Saturday and again today and lastly to the smug salesman who pointed out this gem.
I now got a KEY and I now know the SECRET!