Picture the scene, 4 sozzled “hadults”, seeing in the New Year with the most spectacular “crap” fireworks you have ever seen.

We were introduced to crap indoor fireworks by the Finks a few years ago and boy are they terrible, in a uber uncool way. Besides the pellet that expands to resemble a bad dog poo, there is puff the magic dragon which is a tiny stick that gives out smoke rings, but the party piece has to be the potato mounted flare that lasts for all of 3 seconds.

This is the new cool, forget the expense of sparklers and rockets, you need a £10 pack of crap indpor fireworks (just keep all doors and windows open to get rid of the smoke).