OK then, so with my passport duly cleaned after a 40 degree spin cycle, there are no stamps left in it (boo), but the picture is in tact (and it still shows a bloomin tache even tho I never had one). Basically my passport is less use than a rehab clinic for a nihilistic singer. So a wee trip to one of the multitude of Post Offices that exist in the area (Not), to pick up a form.
The upshot, it is easier for me to come into the country as a foreigner than it is to replace my damaged one. I need to specify my parents nationality and birthdates (that’s gonna happen) and I now need the form certified by a lawyer, doctor, company owner, who has known me for more than two years and is prepared to provide their passport information, stool and DNA sample as well.
And as I am duly reminded by Mrs Fogg I also have to pay £77 for the privilege plus a potential £8 if I would like the new graduate with their degree in molecular biology at the post office to do a “check and send service” (like that’s gonna happen). At least Dick Turpin wore a mask!!!!
I really hope that this additional level of security is worth it because all I can see is that you are treated worse in this country if you are a “citizen” than if you are a foreigner.
Pah!!! Rant over, you can get on with your Sunday now.