I had a couple of lessons on a real man’s motorcycle back in Feb and decided that I wanted to learn how to ride and get a proper bike. The only problem with this logic is that I am rubbish on a real bike, having spent my time on a twist and go scooter, the concept of the clutch and brake in different locations has almost caused me to be thrown of so many times.

The instructor was very patient informing me through my earpiece that I have just driven through a Stop sign, I am driving too slow and that I being overtaken by a disability scooter, that I have missed my turning, I need to change up from first gear when I am travelling at 40mph, the list is endless.

So we decided to put Sasha up for sale (the bright yellow scooter we have) and look at buying a proper bike for me to learn on, after 1 month of advertising, we mainly had calls from a company that “have buyers interested in buying the bike, providing we pay them first” and an eastern european chappie who wished to view the bike with his wife, but then mysteriously never appeared.

Earlier this week a girl sent a text message through with the perfect grammar of “You still had bike for sale”, she called me in a thick european accent and the conversation went a little along the lines:

Girl: I wish for to buy bike, where am you living

Me: In York

Girl: Where is please?

Me: York in Yorkshire

Girl: Is this far from London

Me: Err yes, about 200miles plus a bit

Girl: I can get train to you yes, then drive bike back, how long this take

Me: How long this take, what the train or to ride the bike back at a speed limited 62mph

Girl: I ride on motorway

Me: Well if you are legal to do so, but it would take a long time to get back

Girl: It ok I like colour so I want to buy

Me: Forgive me, but are you real or is this a joke

Girl: It real I want buy it

So after this conversation, I started to receive more texts exclaiming that she would arrive by train on Sunday with cash only to buy bike and ride back. Now I started to get a little more suspicious about this, especially since she refused to use electronic transfer or bankers drafts. Thoughts of being handed hookey money and seeing Sasha ride off into the distance, with a girl giving a false name and address, started to flood into my mind.

We decided not to sell since there was too much risk associated with this transaction, but still the texts kept coming, “I very genuine, no funny business” “I want bike, you have no risk for sale”. Sorry call me jaded or a complete cynic, but trust of fellow humans is so far down on the list that we eventually told the girl that the sale was totally off and we would not sell to her at all.

So we still have Sasha and I still need to have some more experience on a geared bike to prevent me from killing myself. In the meantime I have sat my bike theory test, what a complete waste of time and money that is and I have under 2 years to pass the bike test or I need to take it all again.

So there you go, the moral here is if you are going to buy a scooter in a city known for bikes and scooters, make sure it is a well known make that everyone will want, not one that looks like a giant canary that has been stretched and squashed.