Ok, so what the hell have you been sniffing I hear you ask? in our new garden sits Tree Beard, a gnarly old tree, so impressive they actually built a fence around him complete with large plastic bags that must have been there for over a year. My idea was to use my finely honed ninja skills to gracefully shimmy the tree to pull them off (personally I would have preferred to fly through the air like a dodgy martial arts movie except I pick the day when the wire operators take the day off), Turfman came up with the imminently more sensible, yet less spectacular approach of lassoing them (obviously unaware of my alter ego as the Lasso Kid). So Q&B 8mm x 30 meter lasso I ropes the first branch in one throw (told you I was good) and pulled it down sufficiently to start pulling the plastic off, one hand holding the ropes and one foot on the end of the rope to stop it springing up (visions of a cartoon Mr Fogg being shot into the air Wily Coyote Stylee). First bag off with Fluffy helping we moves onto the second higher branch. several lasso throws later and no joy until success we hooked the branch, however it was blocked by a bigger thicker branch, no worries, the Lasso Kid will use his Superman style strength to bend the branch down, no such luck as with one mighty roar (more of a whimper, but hey) he actually ripped the 20 foot long, 3 inch thick branch off catapulting him into the gate with the force of a forceful thing Job done, no task too big or too small for the Lasso Kid and Fluffy (the trusty sidekick). Step aside Bret Riverboat, take a hike Riviera Kid and go back to sleep Desperate Dan McGraw, we is on the case.
